About the show
There have never been three more sophisticated, informed, or serious MotoGP commentators than those screaming bastards on Italian TV. Or those stuttering Pom pumpernickels who keep saying “penultimate” because its fancier than “second-last”. They’re pretty good at this MotoGP commentary stuff. And there’s a few Spanish commentators who are the top of their game.
We’re not them.
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Episodes
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Moto PG Ep 116: Yoda joins the show
December 15th, 2023 | 1 hr 3 mins
There are few more knowledgeable, sensible or enlightened voices in Moto GP than New Zealand's Simon Crafar. And yet, for reasons unknown by mere mortals, he freely gives of his time to talk to a degenerate trio who spend the bulk of their time masquerading as podcast hosts and the rest of their time pretending they know something about motorcycles. The Lord works in mysterious ways and you, dear listeners, should be giving him praise tonight for he has bestowed upon you a great gift: Yoda talking testing and all other things Moto GP. So follow these instructions in order: buy Borrie's books at www.shocknawe.com.au; get down on your knees and thank the tiger power for delivering this episode to you (especially you non-Patreon leaches) then press play.
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Moto PG Ep 115: Can You Hear The Drums Fernandez?
December 2nd, 2023 | 1 hr 39 mins
The racing in Valencia was brilliant but not a patch on Borrie's final poem of the year. Or the Captain's final instructions for 2023. Or even Rossi's final letter for the year. All that (plus a brief appearance from special guest Simon Crafar before recording a seperate end of year episode with him) is inside. But before you press play, a reminder Christmas is coming up and there is no better time than now to buy Borrie's books as a stocking stuffer. Or a paper weight. Or whatever. Frankly, the big man doesn't care what you do with them as long as he gets your money. You can even just send him some money if you prefer. It will make both your festive seasons better. NOW you can press 'play'.
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Moto PG Ep 114: I Think He Got Anal That Night
November 22nd, 2023 | 1 hr 24 mins
If you're wondering what the title of this week's show is about, try hitting the play button. (Advertising voice: The Play Button. Your key to MotoPG glory.) Among this week's gems/disgraces depending which side of the woke fence you sit on are some hints and tips for the best ways to cook a puffin, the Captain's latest missive, Boris' Serbian interpretation of Mr Nine Times' thoughts on the week and a poem that Mrs Borrie called time on halfway through Boris' test reading. In Moto PG land that's called 'quality control' and it works as well as you'd expect because you, dear listener, will be getting the full text. So try the Play button. It's way better than this rubbish.
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Moto PG Ep 113: Catching Up With The Dirty Badger
November 15th, 2023 | 1 hr 41 mins
Tug's away but The Dirty Badger brings the boys up to speed with all the news from the paddock over the weekend at Sepang where the Captain surpassed Cal Crutchlow for the number of falls in Malaysia. Rumours are flying about who'll replace Marc Marquez at HRC and the lads wonder who might be the next alien in the sport? There's Rossi's instructions, the Captain's debrief, Borries's poem and plenty more so press the play button and start living life right.
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Moto PG Ep 112: Hey, Mr Nine Times....
November 1st, 2023 | 1 hr 48 mins
The racing was glorious and the grid girls were spectacular. What more could a Moto GP fan want, I hear you ask? How about a poem? Or a behind the scenes look at Rossi's team instructions? Or the Captain's debrief of the week? Well you've come to the right place because there is all that and more in episode 112 of the greatest motorcycling podcast in the universe. Boris, Tugs and Freido dish it up like nobody else in the business and all you need to do to be a better person is press play and listen to the madness. And give them money, of course. But press play first if you like. Or just give money. Either/or. You still here?
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Moto PG Ep 111: The Bin Rats Danced Like Painted Sluts
October 26th, 2023 | 1 hr 44 mins
Eventful might be underselling the week at Phillip Island but in the end it was all worth it when we finally got to see the Johann Zarco backflip. The flying frenchman climbed out of his dumpster round the back of what passes for team buildings at the Island and grabbed his first victory in a crazy weekend of racing at the circuit at the end of the earth. Two of the three MotoPG reprobates were there and the third can't decide if he's glad or sad that he didn't go. Anyway, enough of this rubbish press play. Now.
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Moto PG Ep 110: Shutup! I Have Panties To Ride Through
October 18th, 2023 | 1 hr 50 mins
Have you ever seen three grown men choking down on one giant dick? Well you'll get to hear what that sounds like this week when Freido, Tug and Boris endure the humiliation of not just being wrong but being completely, totally and utterly wrong about Marc Marquez's move away from HRC to Gresini. For most people, this would be humiliating, embarrassing and emasculating. However, our three protagonists lack even that level of basic self awareness and so they push on regardless as though nothing has happened. And thank god they do. We hear from The Captain and Rossi and Boris even admits to not hating his own poem this week so that's worth listening to. Which you can do by pressing play now. (Then go join Patreon and buy Borrie's books at Shocknawe.com.au so the boys have some of your money. It is literally the least you can do).
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Moto PG Ep 109: It Pays To Be Filthy
October 4th, 2023 | 1 hr 39 mins
Just because there was only half a race in Japan doesn't mean you only have to endure half an episode. Sure, the boys are all on their death beds but commitment (or sponsorship dollars, you decide) demands they provide the full complement of Moto PG staples. So there is Rossi's letter, Borrie's poem, The Chattering Of The Choomlas, the Captain's Letter (insert foghorn here)...it's all in here folks. And more. And they even talk a bit about motorcycles and the gods who race them. You know what to do now. See you on the other side.
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Moto PG Ep 108: Where Were The Elephants?
September 27th, 2023 | 1 hr 47 mins
They said it would be a disaster. They said it wouldn't go ahead. They said the track wasn't fit for purpose. Well WTF would they know? The lads are joined by India correspondent Mahendra to go over what turned out to be a fantastic Indian Moto GP. Sure there was a distinct and disappointing lack of elephants and a disturbingly high ratio of grandmothers in the crowd, but that didn't detract from what was a great first up effort for the world's most populous nation. It also inspired one of Borries' best poems yet and if you're a regualr listener you know how good that needs to be. (If you're not a regular listener, become one. And join our Patreon Pit Crew. And buy Borrie's books. Or just send us money, we don't care. As long as we're getting paid.) Stop looking at this now and press play. What are you waiting for?
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Moto PG Ep 107: 'I've never had a lentil on my face...'
September 13th, 2023 | 2 hrs 3 mins
'The worst race of the season' and 'a wake up call for rest of the paddock'. Did somebody get out of the wrong side of the bed or does Tugs have a point? It's not the happiest episode of the Greatest Motorcycling Podcast in the Universe but it's not all doom and gloom either. There's the Captain's Instructions, Rossi's letter, Borrie's Poem (which is actually a song this week) and a supermodel joins the show for a chat. But if you don't press play you won't know what any of it is about so get on with it. Oh, and buy a ticket in the Ohvale raffle. It's a good cause and a hell of a prize. In fact, it might be the only way the Phillip Island experience could be bearable as a spectator.
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Moto PG Ep 106: Jeremy McWilliams
September 7th, 2023 | 33 mins 48 secs
Bonus time Bitches....He's raced everything from Aprilia 250cc smokers to American baggers, and won on them all. He even wins despite being 163 years old. And he kissed Scarlett Johanson in a movie. And after all that, he still spoke to us. So click play for a brilliant chat with the legend that is Jeremy McWilliams.
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Moto PG Ep 105: O Captain! My Captain!
September 6th, 2023 | 1 hr 41 mins
"It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous!" In times of crisis we often turn to Seinfeld for guidance and after the shock of the Captain's win at Catalunya it is the words of Jackie Chiles above that soothe. Who could have predicted the Captain actually winning a race? Apparently quite a few of you according to our Facebook competition last week but apart from those lunatics, nobody. Not that it matters to the intrepid crew of the greatest motorcycling podcast in the universe, though. The boys still find plenty of interesting stuff going on elsewhere in the world of motorcycling both on and off the track. From Borrie's poem to Rossi's letter and everything in between, Ep 105 is everything you've come to expect from these three reprobates. (Hint, if you're new here we have two tips: the material within is NSFW. And buy Borrie's books. They're good.) Enjoy, bitches!
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Moto PG Ep 104: Choomlas Make Life Better
August 23rd, 2023 | 1 hr 54 mins
Tug is out so Simmo is in this week as the lads try to make sense of what happened in Austria at the weekend. Can they solve Jack MIller's seemingly unsolvable problems? No, but they wont let that stop them trying. It's just one area of racing they know nothing about but speculate on regardless in episode 104 of the greatest motorcycling podcast in the universe. There's also the usual favourites with The Captain's Letter (insert foghorn sound here), Rossi's instructions, Borrie's poem and more. Press play to hear it all. Then perhaps take some time to think about your life choices.
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Moto PG Ep 103: Speaking Sense with Simon Crafar
August 16th, 2023 | 1 hr 25 mins
Sense is something you don't hear a lot of in these parts - except when friend of the pod and legend of racing, TV and humanity itself Simon Crafar drops by to talk all things Moto GP. It's always a treat to hear from one of the most knowledgeable and thoughtful analysts in the business and episode 103 is no exception. Oh, and Tug and Boris were there too. So sit back and enjoy the wisdom of one of the sport's very best then go and sign up for ourt Patreon Pit Crew so we can keep bringing the quality to you (and the money to us!).
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Moto PG Ep 102: I Remember The First Time I Saw My Father's Testicles
August 9th, 2023 | 2 hrs 1 min
Sometimes the title of the episode has something to do with the episode Itself. Other times, something so absurd has been said that it needs to be highlighted by being the show title. This is a case of the latter. And besides, it helps distract from the stunning reality that the Captain somehow found the winner's circle at Silverstone. So let's not speak of it. Let's instead concentrate on the knife fight that is Moto 3 and the glory of Cheryl not only being at the track but meeting her hero Jake Dixon. That's the story of the week and we chat to Cheryl to get the low down on a great weekend.
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Moto PG Ep 101: The Most Disgusting Poem Ever
August 2nd, 2023 | 1 hr 4 mins
"That," said Borrie's wife, "is the most disgusting poem you've ever written. Surely you are not going to read that out?" But he did. And she was right. And you, too, will hear it on episode 101 and you, too, will be shocked because, even for this group of reprobates, it is bad. But that is also what makes it good, no? I mean, who listens to this podcast for the high literary standards? That's right, no-one. Certainly not you. So stop pretending you're thinking about it and just press play already. We both know you want to.